Self Portrait with Stripes 2010

Waking up to pain.

It’s like slamming into a brick wall on the freeway. You see it in the road. You cannot stop or go around. You hit it head on. And deal with the repercussions afterwords.

I do not love this feeling. Or the fact that it interferes with my work. It can make holding  a camera uncomfortable. Sometimes it makes certain art modeling jobs more difficult. It can be much, much worse. But I accept its presence in my life. It is like an insistent dance partner, that wants to be in the lead.  I resist. I play hard to get. I use every trick I know-and can afford-in the book. Heat. Cold. Medication. Food. Vitamins. Lab tests. Physical Therapy. Therapeutic Exercise. Herbal remedies. Prescription medication. Music. Zen meditation… I try to anticipate it’s moves. I try to be prepared. I put on my seat belt. I turn on the airbags. But sometimes, the wall in the road still appears.

There is no brake pedal.